I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
