I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize