You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sex in the backyard? Check.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
