you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
