So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
