omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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