i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
