no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
