Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Help. Why am I so naked?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
