Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
