so that wasnt chicken after all
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
