He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Me too!
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
