Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Someone came in the potted fern
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
