what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
