I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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