She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize