this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize