"it" just moved
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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