NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
should my penis look like a turkey
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
