found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
