This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize