is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
