How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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