They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
