She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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