You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
did i walk over a car last night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
