I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
