How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
