My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
