But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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