just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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