I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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