NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
