I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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