There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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