Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
