maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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