Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
