Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
