i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
