that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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