Me too!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
