She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
