That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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