It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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