You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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