I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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