She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
