Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
