you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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