gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
