why didn't you poke me back
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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