i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
