I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
