I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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