You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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