btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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