I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize