I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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