My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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