dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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