So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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