I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
