On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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