You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
