well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
