Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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