need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
