It's Friday. Sex?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
