No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
