Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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