erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
