Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
