go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
