DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
