I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
