last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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