Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
