Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize