Me. At least after what I've been through.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
