I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
