your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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