So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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